I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
