What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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