i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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