hotel room ftw
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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