I wish I only lived at night.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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