Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
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