i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
