i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
