party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
