I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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