gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
