He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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