I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
