a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I fill condoms, not promises.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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