You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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