I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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