is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
