Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
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