I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
