bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
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