I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
