Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize