You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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