Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
