Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
