tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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