i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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