i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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