I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
