thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
