i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Randomize
