OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
