a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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