ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Of course I have a pirate flag
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
