remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize