I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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