I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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