i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
