Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
