so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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