omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I pour the whiskey from now on
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
