She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
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