I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
