problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
