You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
