If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
