Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
