DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
