i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Randomize
