..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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