bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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