@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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