Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
two words...techno handjob
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
