I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
