is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize
