i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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