in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
