Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
