bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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